Quotes from Chelsea Handler

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.

I have no idea why gay men love me, but I would have to assume it's because they know how much I love the gays! Everyone needs a good gay man in their life.