Quotes from Mark Twain

I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.

What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it.

All say, 'how hard it is that we have to die' -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

There is no such thing as an ordinary life.

Always do what's right. That will gratify some and surprise the rest.

One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.

There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.

I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened

You will be more disappointed in life by the things that you do not do than by the things that you do.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress.

Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have the power to rationalize?

The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.

My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.

I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to pr