Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

A man is known by the company he organizes.

CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

War: A by-product of the arts of peace.

Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature, and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.

A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.

art, n. This word has no definition.

picture, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.

MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

When you doubt, abstain.

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection. The most famous English example begins somewhat like this: The cur foretells the knell of parting day; The loafing herd winds slowly o'er the lea; The wise man homeward plods; I only stay To fiddle-faddle in a minor key.

ADVICE, n. The smallest current coin. The man was in such deep distress, Said Tom, that I could do no less Than give him good advice. Said Jim: If less could have been done for him I know you well enough, my son, To know that's what you would have done. --Jebel Jocordy.

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

Advice is the smallest current coin.

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.