Quotes from Woody Allen

Muerte (Una comedia) Anna: Mientras no se trate de algo agradable, ningún momento es el adecuado

Eternal life is great if you have the clothes for it.

Muerte (Una comedia) KLEINMAN: ¡Oh, no, no pienso quedarme aquí solo! ¡Estás de broma! ¡Hay un loco suelto por ahí! ¡Yo no me entiendo bien con los locos! Soy un individuo muy lógico. AL: El plan no permite que estemos juntos. KLEINMAN: Mira, no hagamos de esto un idilio. No tenemos que estar juntos nosotros. Con doce hombres fuertes cualesquiera me conformo.

Guía breve, pero útil, de desobediencia civil Manifestaciones y Marchas. El aspecto clave de una manifestación es que tiene que ser visible. De ahí el término <>. Si una persona se manifiesta con carácter privado en su domicilio, no constituye técnicamente una manifestación, sino meramente <> o <>

Duelo de ingenio con el inspector Ford El secuestro extravagante Os quiere, Kermit. P.S. Esto no es una broma. Adjunto una broma para que podáis apreciar la diferencia

I have just spent the better part of a week sorting out the miasma of lunatic alibis known as your correspondence in an effort to adjust matters, that our game may be finished simply once and for all.

El genio irlandés Parnell sabía la respuesta, pero nadie le formularía la pregunta.

Dios (Una comedia) DORIS: Fidipides. ¿Cómo puedes negarte? DIABETES: Cuando se es un cobarde, ciertas cosas resultan muy fáciles.

Nadie rezará un kaddish por Weinstein Tan poco tiempo por delante, pensó, y tantas cosas por hacer.

Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime.

Hell is other people's taste

Para acabar con el ajedrez Correspondencia ¡Es fascinante comprobar hasta qué punto puede desintegrarse la razón cuando se enfrenta a una siniestra verdad ocasional y huye en desordenada retirada para mejor materializar un espejismo y construir defensas precarias contra el asalto de una realidad demasiado terrible!

Suddenly, one day, out of nowhere, an enormous abyss opened up beneath our feet and I was staring into a face I didn't recognize.

Human happiness does not seem to have been included in the design of creation. It is only we with our capacity to love that fives meaning to the indifferent universe, and yet most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even to find joy from simple things.

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Drama is like meat and three veg. Whereas comedy is like the merangue at the end.

I just didn't grasp the finer points and once tipped a process server who knocked on my door and handed me a summons.

He opened my eyes to just how great S. J. Perelman was, superior to all other funny minds, an axiom I hold to this day.

And I definitely do not want to be on one of those first rockets to outer space, to glimpse Earth from afar and experience weightlessness. The truth is, I hate weightlessness; I am a big fan of gravity and hope it lasts.

There are still loonies who think I married my daughter, who think Soon-Yi was my child, who think Mia was my wife, who think I adopted Soon-Yi, who think that Obama wasn't American. But there was never any trial. I was never charged with anything, as it was clear to the investigators nothing had ever occurred.

I must say, it amazed me how many in my profession caved in like dominoes.

I was crushed when Mia's plan worked, and the judge shilled for her to make sure I would not get to see Dylan.

One of the saddest things of my life was that I was deprived of the years of raising Dylan and could only dream about showing her Manhattan and the joys of Paris and Rome.

You see the whole culture (watching television) . . . Nazis, deodorant salesman, wrestlers . . . beauty contests, the talk show . . . Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? Hmm? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers . . . third-rate con men, telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak for Jesus . . . and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back, and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.