Quotes from Woody Allen

I believe that love that is true and real, creates a respite from death.

If it's bad, I'll hate it because I hate bad writing. If it's good, I'll be envious and hate it all the more.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.

The world may or may not be with our purpose. But its not totally without some kind of magic" [Magic in the moonlight movie - by Woody Allen]

Nadie rezará un kaddish por Weinstein -Harriet, ¿Cuál ha sido nuestro error? -Jamás nos enfrentamos a la realidad. -No fue mía la culpa. Dijiste que estaba al norte. -La realidad está al norte, Ike. -No, Harriet. Los sueños están al norte. La realidad está al oeste. Las falsas esperanzas, al este, y creo que Luisiana está al sur.

Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.

UFOs are back in the news, and it is high time we took a serious look at the phenomenon. (Actually the time is ten past eight, so not only are we a few minutes late but I'm hungry).

I hate when art becomes a religion. I feel the opposite. When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you're forfeiting your humanity.

Self-obsession, that treacherous time waster.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering—and it's all over much too soon.

Inez: You always take the side of the help. That's why Daddy says you're a communist.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose..

Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.

Morale still seems reasonably high and, while the desertion rate has risen, it is still limited to those who can walk.

There's a snake in my butt!

Muerte (Una comedia) Tienen que comprender que yo no puedo competir con un asesino demente. Un maniaco tiene la fuerza de diez hombres y yo tengo la fuerza de medio...A menos que me estén utilizando como señuelo

What is fascinating is that it is physical. You know, that's one thing about intellectuals, they've proved that you can be absolute brilliant and have no idea what's going on. But on the other hand, the body doesn't lie, as we now know. Nono, it'll be great, because all of those ph.Ds are in there, like, discussing modes of alienation, and we'll be in here quietly humping.

No work of art can compare to a city.

David: And you think it can just evaporate? Even if at one time they loved one another? Marx: That's one of the sad truths of existence. Nothing in this world is permanent. Even the characters created by the great Shakespeare will, in millions of years, cease to exist—when the universe runs its course and the lights go out.

Yo no quiero alcanzar la inmortalidad por mi obra. Quiero conseguirla por no morir. No quiero vivir en la memoria de mis compatriotas. Preferiría vivir en mi apartamento.

The only time that my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.

If I got a paper cut, that's a tragedy. If you fell down an open manhole and died, that's comedy.

That Paris exists and anyone could choose to live anywhere else in the world will always be a mystery to me.