Quotes from Woody Allen

Analysis] has helped, but not as much as I've wanted. Years ago, I remember, I brought my clarinet into the repair shop, and the guy took two weeks and put new pads on and everything. When I went in, I said, 'Thank you, but am I going to sound better?' And he said, 'Yes, you will sound better, but not as much as you'd like to.

Showing up is 80% of life.

In the end this obsession for conformity leads to fascism.

Tant que l'homme sera mortel, il ne sera jamais décontracté.

If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.

This is my perspective and has always been my perspective on life: I have a very grim, pessimistic view of it. I always have, since I was a little boy. It hasn't gotten worse with age or anything. I do feel that it's a grim, painful, nightmarish, meaningless experience, and that the only way that you can be happy is if you tell yourself some lies and deceive yourself.

Go ahead — walk into the propeller.

How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans.

O'Rouke'un orada bir bira içerken olanlar?n bir muhasebesini yapmaya çal??t?m. Ä°ÅŸler kar???kt?. Sokrates intihar etmiÅŸti... Ya da öyle olduÄŸunu söylüyorlard?. Ä°sa öldürülmüÅŸtü. Nietzsche ise delirmiÅŸti. EÄŸer yukar?da biri varsa bile kimsenin bunu bilmesini istemiyor gibiydi.

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existance

80% of life is showing up.

But the arguments we had over free will and monads, while heated, were never as combatative as the ones we had over our marriage. I knew I was in trouble when, in one philosophical discussion, Harlene proved I didn't exist.

It seemed like I was surrounded by great and wonderful people unstable as uranium.

There are two kinds of people in this world, good and bad. The good people sleep better, but the bad people tend to have more fun during the waking hours.

Mary: Il sesso senza amore è un'esperienza vuota! -Isaac: Beh, ma tra le esperienze vuote è una delle migliori.

being a misanthropist has its saving grace—people can never disappoint you.

I read 'War and Peace' in 20 minutes," he says. "It's about Russia.

Me interesa el futuro porque es el sitio donde voy a pasar el resto de mi vida

La bisessualità raddoppia immediatamente le tue chances al sabato sera.

Los pergaminos Normas y Proverbios Los malvados de corazón probablemente sabrán algo

Faire son chemin dans la vie n'est pas simple et tout ce qui peut marcher sans nuire à autrui est une bonne chose

Leggo per legittima difesa.

Los personajes femeninos de Lovborg: una evaluación DORF: Oh, Netta. ¡Todo está perdido! ¡Perdido! NETTA: Para un hombre pusilánime, tal vez, pero no para un hombre que tenga...valor.

Los personajes femeninos de Lovborg: una evaluación Los dos se conocieron en el aire y se casaron antes de llegar al suelo.