Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

it was tenanted by evil spirits, visible, audible and active, no one in all that region doubted any more than he doubted what he was told of Sundays by the traveling preacher.

ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.

BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Conocido, s. Persona a quien conocemos lo bastante para pedirle dinero prestado, pero no lo suficiente para prestarle. Grado de amistad que llamamos superficial cuando su objeto es pobre y oscuro, e íntimo cuando es rico y famoso.

BRAHMA, n. He who created the Hindoos, who are preserved by Vishnu and destroyed by Siva—a rather neater division of labor than is found among the deities of some other nations.

You play the violin like an angel. Play it; play something light and lively. Get this cursed bad business off your mind.

BRIDE, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum—whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum— I think that I think, therefore I think that I am; as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could supply—the sword, the spear, and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of propulsion.

CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by him to C.

La gente guardaba silencio como en presencia de un milagro; el espanto y el terror habían atado todas las lenguas.

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

CONTROVERSY, n. A battle in which spittle or ink replaces the injurious cannon-ball and the inconsiderate bayonet.

COWARD, n. One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

Destiny, n. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Definition of positive- ´wrong at the top of your lungs´

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend.