Quotes from Mark Twain

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things can not be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.

If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

Those who don't read good books have no advantage over those who can't.

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise

It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips.

All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.

It is higher and nobler to be kind.

Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh.

You can't throw too much style into a miracle.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;

Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young, the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above, it was green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting.

New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

If you must be indiscrete, be discrete in your indiscretion.

That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends