Quotes from Mark Twain

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

In early times some sufferer had to sit up with a toothache, and he put in the time inventing the German language.

When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.

Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time.

In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.

I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.

If I had more time, I would have written less.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.

I admire him, I frankly confess it; and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.

It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.

Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.

There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.

When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma.

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.