Quotes from Mark Twain

The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal.

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things and yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy for us

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue; and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

The rain is famous for falling on the just and unjust alike, but if I had the management of such affairs I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust out doors I would drown him.

Better a broken promise than none at all.

France had neither winter nor summer nor morals - apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.

At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass.

When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.

Be good and you will be lonely.

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten

To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.

Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought -- by force of circumstances, not argument -- to reconcile itself to any kind of government or religion that can be devised; in time it will fit itself to the required conditions; later it will prefer them and will fiercely fight for them.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices

We [Americans] are the lavishest and showiest and most luxury-loving people on the earth; and at our masthead we fly one true and honest symbol, the gaudiest flag the world has ever seen.

His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

The poetry is all in the anticipation, for there is none in reality

He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Golf is good walk spoiled

One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it