Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum

Faith Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

once a man has tasted strong drink, he finds wine insipid

Patience. A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.

Pray To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

To be positive To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are not as they ought to be.

Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.