Quotes from Amy Sedaris

I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.

I am an aging Girl Scout.

You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.

I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained. I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.

People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.

Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.

I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.

I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.

I have a lot of fake food in my apartment, but I'm picky about it. Old plaster food, like from the '50s is really nice, hollowed out paper-mache food from old plays - the new stuff just looks too good.

When I'm by myself, I never play music. I have a lot of it, for a girl, but I don't listen to it a lot. I hate picking music out; I'm not good at it.

I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.

People that know me know that I cook. I cook every night.

Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.