Quotes from Amy Sedaris

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

I swear I want to be a food model.

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

I've named everything that I've ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.

In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.

On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris

I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.

Poof! It's magic!

The moment someone says, "Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song," your party is over.

A good trick is to fill your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosey guest better than an avalanche of marbles hitting a porcelain sink. Plus you'll know which guest is a junkie whore or gutter hype, and you'll know what else to hide. Count your stash or remove the labels from your prescription bottles.

An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.

How do you teach hope?

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.