Quotes from Amy Sedaris

Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'

Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.

I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.

I'm drawn to people who look different. I'm not exploiting. I'm not making fun of them. I'm drawn to them.

Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for me' because I'm just resistant to learning.

I always find something to keep me busy.

If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.

I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.

I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.

It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.

Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.

I like working with the public, and I like that it's really hard work.

I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.

I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.

There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.

I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.

But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.