Quotes from Amy Sedaris

I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.

I'm not ambitious.

I have no desire to carry a movie.

I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.

I swear I want to be a food model.

I like working with the public, I like working with food, and I like making cash.

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.