Quotes from Albert Ellis

Thinking rationally is often different from "positive thinking," in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.

Stop shoulding on yourself

I hope to die in the saddle seat.

The great majority of the things we now make ourselves panicked about are self-created 'dangers' that exist almost entirely in our own imaginations.

People and things do not upset us. Rather, we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.

People don't just get upset. They contribute to their upsetness.

There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.

I hope to die in the saddle seat.

For that again, is what all manner of religion essentially is: childish dependency.

We teach people that they upset themselves. We can't change the past, so we change how people are thinking, feeling and behaving today.

People got insights into what was bothering them, but they hardly did a damn thing to change.

I'm very happy. I like my work and the various aspects of it - going around the world, teaching the gospel according to St. Albert.

People could rationally decide that prolonged relationships take up too much time and effort and that they'd much rather do other kinds of things. But most people are afraid of rejection.

As a result of my philosophy, I wasn't even upset about Hitler. I was willing to go to war to knock him off, but I didn't hate him. I hated what he was doing.

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.

If something is irrational, that means it won't work. It's usually unrealistic.

I had used eclectic therapy and behavior therapy on myself at the age of 19 to get over my fear of public speaking and of approaching young women in public.

I think the future of psychotherapy and psychology is in the school system. We need to teach every child how to rarely seriously disturb himself or herself and how to overcome disturbance when it occurs.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human.

The emotionally mature individual should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.

Life is indeed difficult, partly because of the real difficulties we must overcome in order to survive, and partly because of our own innate desire to always do better, to overcome new challenges, to self-actualize. Happiness is experienced largely in striving towards a goal, not in having attained things, because our nature is always to want to go on to the next endeavor.

If the Martians ever find out how human beings think, they'll kill themselves laughing.

Too many people are unaware that it is not outer events or circumstances that will create happiness; rather, it is our perception of events and of ourselves that will create, or uncreate, positive emotions.