Quotes from Albert Ellis

Choice gives you doubts and uncertainties. Therefore, you are always somewhat anxious

Annabel, one of my clients who cherished her perfectionism because she felt that it made her a fine writer and an excellent mother, was having a hard time with some of David Burns's teachings against perfectionism in his book, Feeling Good. Dr. Burns, she thought, told her to give up all ideal goals and stick only to realistic and average ones. Then she couldn't be disappointed or depressed.

The next time you feel angry, try to become aware of some of the physical sensations and changes that are occurring in your body. Remember that physical reactions accompanying your chronic anger can lead to damage, illness, and possibly premature death.

Keep my desires and goals in mind. Don't insist that they must or must not be fulfilled. Let me work unfrantically to achieve them. REBT

Having some support and the reassurance that my family, friends, or others will help me when I am anxious will often reduce my anxiety and panic. But because such support and reassurance may not exist or may not continue, I'd better not rely on it solely. I also had better gain self-confidence and self-support. 8.

Evolution is arranged so that a species survives, not so that it will be happy while it survives.

insight will help you very little.

Try to remember the last time you felt extremely angry. Recall what you focused upon and how you acted. Were you able to reasonably consider good courses of action? Were you able to look at all your options? Did you make the best decision? Do you regret something you said or did? If you are like most people, you will see that you hardly think and behave at your best when you feel enraged.

For if you damn others for their errors, how can you not also damn yourself—your entire being or personhood—for your failings? Give some thought to that dilemma! Your hating others as persons, in other words, borders much too close on self-hatred.

By forcefully telling nasty people off, or performing other cathartic acts, you will supposedly stop your aggressive energy from building to harmful levels.

REBT's Insight No. 1 holds that you have both healthy and unhealthy emotions

you create severe anxiety when you jump from inclination to "musturbation.

you do feel like a noble, superhuman, holier-than-thou person, you are then, according to REBT, experiencing an unhealthy positive feeling.

Insight is another name for awareness.

You create both healthy and unhealthy feelings when your goals and desires are blocked.

Intense rage will normally make you stew instead of do when you encounter unfairness, and if you act while enraged you will often fight foolishly and badly.

Be yourself for a while, even it's hurt.

people often want to remain angry. This represents a very important difference between anger and other troublesome emotions.

how it blocks them from reaching their goals

Anger can be likened to an architect's blueprint. The availability of a blueprint does not cause a building to be constructed, but it does make construction easier.

Persist at using the scientific method of questioning and challenging your irrational Beliefs until you begin to give them up, increase your effectiveness, and enjoy yourself more.

The first point in this model is: Feelings largely cause behavior. The way you feel, and how strongly, greatly influence how you will behave in a situation. If you get yourself overly anxious, angry, and upset about getting somewhere, you will likely drive like a nut.

We had better rate our important parts-our thoughts, feelings, and actions-to see how they helped or hindered us. But-damn it!-we didn't have to rate our self, our being, our essence. Our self or personhood was too complex to be given a global rating. We could say, for practical reasons, it was good-meaning it helped us to live and enjoy. Or we could say that it just didn't have to be rated at all. Use our self but not rate it!

But we can choose to change ourselves remarkably.