Quotes from Mark Twain

These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company

These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.

We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.

Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.

God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.

Irrevence is another person's disrespect to your god; there isn't any word that tells what your disrespect to his god is.

...one should be gentle with the ignorant, for they are the chosen of God.

Now I can only pray that there may be a God -- and a heaven -- or something better.

Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Be good and you'll be lonesome

Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it is a good thing!

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

There is nothing more frustrating than a good example.

Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.

Good fathers not only tell us how to live, they show us.