Quotes from Mark Twain

There are no standards of taste in wine... Each man's own taste is the standard, and a majority vote cannot decide for him or in any slightest degree affect the supremacy of his own standard.

The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool.

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

And what is a man without energy? Nothing - nothing at all.

It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do.

Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man.

Men are more compassionate/(nobler)/magnanimous/generous than God; for men forgive their dead, but God does not.

You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment, anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.

They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose it is so.

Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?

If there is one thing that will make a man peculiarly and insufferable self-conceited, it is to have his stomach behave itself, the first day at sea, when nearly all his comrades are seasick.

I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.

It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.

We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions to indulge in such disastrous experiments.

I never let schooling interfere with my education.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Oh, my dear sir... Bless your heart and hide, you are ignorant of the very A B C of meanness! ignorant as the unborn babe! ignorant as unborn twins. You don't know anything about it! It is pitiable to see you, sir... making such an enormous pow-wow here about a subject concerning which your ignorance is perfectly ghastly!

I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much more of it.