Quotes from Terry Pratchett

My name is immaterial,' she said. That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.

Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.

You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more, said Yo-less. It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons.

it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.

On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

WORDS IN THE HEART CANNOT BE TAKEN.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.

Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.

Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.

Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.

It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.

The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.

THAT'S MORTALS FOR YOU, Death continued. THEY'VE ONLY GOT A FEW YEARS IN THIS WORLD AND THEY SPEND THEM ALL IN MAKING THINGS COMPLICATED FOR THEMSELVES. FASCINATING.

and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The truth isn't easily pinned to a page. In the bathtub of history the truth is harder to hold than the soap and much more difficult to find.

His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.

Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more then Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.

There is always time for another last minute

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.