Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Don't look back! Why not? Because I just did! Run faster!

Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you." "Sir?" "It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority." "Sir?" "That's practically zen.

Granny Weatherwax was often angry. She considered it one of her strong points. Genuine anger was one of the world's greatest creative forces. But you had to learn how to control it. That didn't mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it, carefully, let it develop a working head, let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then, just when the whole structure was about to collapse, opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge.

There should be a word for that brief period just after waking when the mind is full of warm pink nothing. You lie there entirely empty of thought, except for a growing suspicion that heading towards you, like a sockful of damp sand in a nocturnal alleyway, are all the recollections you'd really rather do without, and which amount to the fact that the only mitigating factor in your horrible future is the certainty that it will be quite short.

Crowley (An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards)

There is always a choice. You mean I could choose certain death? A choice nevertheless, or perhaps an alternative. You see I believe in freedom. Not many people do, although they will of course protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T SAVED HIM? Yes! The sun would have risen just the same, yes? NO Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that. It's an astronomical fact. THE SUN WOULD NOT HAVE RISEN. ... Really? Then what would have happened, pray? A MERE BALL OF FLAMING GAS WOULD HAVE ILLUMINATED THE WORLD.

It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.

She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.

Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!

No it's not! said Constable Visit. Atheism is a denial of a god. Therefore It Is A Religious Position, said Dorfl. Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.

Personal's not the same as important. People just think it is.

It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

History isn't like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to be cut up for the dusters of propaganda, yet it always - eventually - manages to spring back into its old familar shape. History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it. History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. It's been around a long time.

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.

Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.

First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They're rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.

To save the world takes one cold son of a bitch.

Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.' 'Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others. 'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl.

Whut's the plan, Rob? said one of them. Okay, lads, this is what we'll do. As soon as we see somethin', we'll attack it. Right? This caused a cheer. Ach, 'tis a good plan, said Daft Wullie.