Quotes from Terry Pratchett

One minute I'm just another rabbit and happy about it, next minute whazzaam, I'm thinking. That's a major drawback if you're looking for happiness as a rabbit, let me tell you. You want grass and sex, not thoughts like What's it all about, when you get right down to it?

Life is addictive. If people complain overmuch, I think I will have to draw that fact to their attention.

I told you Imo made many worlds. I told you that sometimes I think I can see a little way into the world where the wave did not happen. Well, now you will get onto that ship, or... you won't. Whatever you choose, your choice will mean there are two new worlds. And perhaps sometimes, on the edge of sleep, we will see the shadow of the other world. There will be no unhappy memories.

Watchmen were quiet drinkers on the whole. They just went from vertical to horizontal with the minimum amount of fuss, without starting major fights, and without damaging the fixtures overmuch

Granny Aching had never been at home with words. She collected silence like other people collected string. But she had a way of saying nothing that said it all.

You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?

The clerk] held in front of him a scroll with a red wax seal affixed, the kind of thing believed to make a document official - or at least expensive and difficult to understand, which, in fact, amounts to the same thing.

To be fucking human, to not put too fine a point on it, and Daniel Boone can kiss my ass.

Is it dead?' said Gurder. 'It can't die! It's existed for thousands of years!' Gurder shook his head. 'Sounds like a good reason for dying,' he said.

I ain't against gods and goddesses, in their place. But they've got to be the ones we make ourselves. Then we can take 'em to bits for the parts when we don't need 'em anymore, see?

My Lord... what is Death like? called the old man tremulously. When I have investigated it fully, I will let you know, came the faintest of modulations on the breeze. Yes, murmured the Loremaster. A thought struck him. During daylight, please, he added.

They'd saved the city with gold more easily, at that point, than any hero could have managed with steel. But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the rainbow, and will continue to be there forever—provided, naturally, that you don't go and look. This is known as Finance.

It wasn't easy, living in the past. You couldn't whack someone for what they were going to do, or what the world was going to find out later. You couldn't warn people, either. You didn't know what could change the future, but if he understood things right, history tended to spring back into shape.

EMOTIONS GET LEFT BEHIND, IT'S ALL A MATTER OF GLANDS.

There are many rhymes about magpies, but none of them is very reliable because they are not the ones that the magpies know themselves.

I don't see why it's taken thousands of years to sort out." "That's because the people trying to sort it out were men," said Pepper, meaningfully.

Child, you've come here to learn what's true and what's not, but there's little I can teach you that you don't already know. You just don't know you know it, and you'll spend the rest of your life learning what's already in your bones. And that's the truth.

The babies looked similar, both being small, blotchy, and looking sort of, though not really, like Winston Churchill.

In the kitchen, chickens had overflowed into the sink. They weren't making much noise, except for the occasional 'werk' a chicken makes when it's a bit uncertain about things, which is more or less all the time.

Contrary to popular belief, fantasy is not about making things up. The world is stuffed full of things. It is almost impossible to invent any more. No, the role of fantasy as defined by G. K. Chesterton is to take what is normal and everyday and usual and unregarded, and turn it around and show it to the audience from a different direction, so that they look at it once again with new eyes.

I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called 'The Truth'.

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising ape than a falling angel? To my juvenile eyes, Darwin was proved true every day. It doesn't take much to make us flip back into monkeys again.

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.