Quotes About Control

He doesn't object to her sexualization, he just wants to be in control of it, and he wants it oriented towards his gratification. His demand that she not show off her body is not based on the viewpoint of a responsible parent but rather is more like the attitude of a jealous boyfriend.

An abuser's behavior is primarily conscious – he acts deliberately rather than by accident or by losing control of himself – but the underlying thinking that drives his behavior is largely not conscious.

don't make him do the things he does. When men blame women for their own behavior, that's one of the benchmarks of abuse.

This style of abuser loses interest in sex if his partner starts to assert herself as an equal human being deserving of respect, or he begins to coerce or assault her sexually. In short, he wants sex on his terms or not at all.

some abusers are rarely home at all, using the house only as a base for periodic refueling.

When you are left feeling hurt or confused after a confrontation with your controlling partner, ask yourself: What was he trying to get out of what he just did? What is the ultimate benefit to him? Thinking through these questions can help you clear your head and identify his tactics.

The outcome of the way he argues is that he escapes ever accepting responsibility for what he does. To his unethical way of thinking, you are the cause of everything he does.

Deference refers to the abuser's entitlement to have his tastes and opinions treated as edicts.

YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.

But abuse is not a battle that you win by being better at expressing yourself. You win it by being better at sarcasm, put-downs, twisting everything around backward, and using other tactics of control—an arena in which my clients win hands down over their partners, just as they do in a violent altercation. Who can beat an abuser at his own game?

A man's partner is not his child, and the freedoms he "grants" her are not credits to be spent like chips when the urge to control her arises.

Abusive and controlling men tend to have an endless collection of strategies to avoid having to look at their behavior and change it. They are highly attached to an unequal, privileged position in their relationships with women, and as a result are simply not willing to operate respectfully, since that would mean operating as equals.

The purpose of this book is to equip women with the ability to protect themselves, physically and psychologically, from angry and controlling men.

People relinquish ownership of their lives so quickly (especially where love is concerned) that the responsibility for what happens to us relative to knowing those people automatically falls on them as if we had no control.

We survive by controlling our environment, and control is made possible by information. So lack of information quickly breeds insecurity and a situation in which any information is regarded as better than none.

Cómo sabe un cliente si la mujer está ahí por propia voluntad o es esclava de una red de tratantes que la controlan con deudas impagables, amenazas y aisloamiento?

alcoholic if necessary

They do sometimes protest...At these times, she sounds authoritative. But she has no authority.

No man can be patient who has not strong passions, for patience is passion tamed.

A man is no less a person because he can speak in New York and be heard in Chicago, or press a button in Washington and set machinery in motion in Omaha. Extension of power does not lessen the personality of him who exercises it.

Patience is passion tamed.

Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry.

I live in constant fear of being fired or dropped for that dark part of my work I can't control.

My mom didn't want me to go to college. She didn't want me to read - when I read, I may as well have been holding a pineapple.