Quotes About Control

Manipulation paints people into a corner: to fight it, they have to hurt someone who's "just trying to be nice." For most people it seems easier to give in.

Further proof of your love involves giving up your right to react to what your partner does. If you cry or get upset when he is abusive, his response usually is to get even angrier. He sees your reaction as an attack on him and as further proof of your inadequacies.

There is an insatiable, demanding quality to the misogynist's love; no matter how much you give, or give up, it is never enough. He is never convinced that you care about him as much as he cares about you. He will constantly invent new tests of your devotion. It's very much like having a final exam every week for a course you can never pass.

The misogynist use either direct control or indirect control to gain his objective. He may directly state, plead, or demand that you give up a job, a class, or a friendship, or he may begin to attack indirectly those areas that are threatening to him, making it so miserable for you to continue with them that you give them up just to keep the peace. But, no matter what method your partner uses, the result is the same: You have seriously limited your world to suit his needs.

an enmeshed family can maintain an illusion of love and stability as long as no one attempts to separate and as long as everyone follows the family rules.

If you were made to believe that your parents' feelings were your responsibility, you probably still believe that it's within your power to "make" them—and often everyone else—either happy or sad.

It is a fear that must be defended against at all costs. In an effort to quell his anxiety, he tries to gain control over his partner by destroying her self-confidence, so that she can never leave him and he will be safe.

emotional and mental peace comes as a result of releasing yourself from your toxic parents' control, without necessarily having to forgive them. And that release can come only after you've worked through your intense feelings of outrage and grief and after you've put the responsibility on their shoulders, where it belongs.

A man who is raised by a misogynistic father can absorb his father's contempt for women very early in life. The boy learns that a man must always be in control of women and that the way to get that control is to scare them, hurt them, and demean them. At the same time, he learns that the one sure way to get his father's approval is to behave as his father does.

Even after we grow up, many of us continue to believe that we have little control over our lives. We may see others as the decision-makers in our lives and come to view life as something that happens to us. This belief system, reinforced by childhood identification with mothers who model extreme dependency and helplessness, set many women up for abusive marriages.

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I was frightened of myself, I seemed to have no control over my thoughts and feelings, it was like a sort of madness...

We make our own destiny.

In a curious way, it was her fearfulness that persuaded me that I must retain control of myself, rather as a mother will feel obliged to put a brave face on things in order to calm her frightened child.

Personally I can think of nothing more terrifying than to live in a land where law and order have no meaning and violence is the rule of the day.

Servitude is not easy. Obedience is not a one-time decision. Obedience is alife time discipline. But it does bring a cimplicty to life because it settles the issue of who is in control.

Whereas rape victims' self blaming has often been misunderstood as merely a self-destructive response to rape, arising out of low self-esteem, feelings of shame, or female masochism, and fueled by society's desire to blame the victim, it can also be seen as an adaptive survival strategy, if the victim has no other way of gaining control.

I'm going to kill him. I'm a lawyer. I can keep myself out of jail.

Part of getting better was learning how to let go. It had taken her a while but she'd finally figured out that when she stopped trying to control the world, she had a whole lot less anxiety.

Because his mother never met a boundary she didn't want to cross.

But you were married. Didn't the former Mrs. Patrick tame you?" He moved closer. "Do I look tamed?" "Hmm." She squinted. "I think I can see little marks on your cheeks where the reins went.

you can only do what's right for yourself. You can't control anyone else.

The question isn't who causes something to happen, but rather, whether you see the outcome with His eyes or yours. Whether or not you trust He's got it all in His hands.

Freedom cannot simply mean doing whatever strikes you at the moment: that way you're a slave to any whim or passing fancy. Real freedom involves control over your life as a whole, learning to make plans and promises and decisions, to take responsibility for your actions' consequences.