Quotes About Control

All my life I've been well behaved, she said. It's about time I got to push people around and not apologize.

Sometimes the rues don't work. Sometimes the rules cause the anarchy.

To the farmers the new tax was an example of another oppressor telling them what to do and then charging them for it.

The Age of the Screen isn't going to go away; indeed it offers all kinds of wonderful possibilities, if it could just acquire a little more quality control. But there is one truth, one necessary dictum, that we must never forget: _Every child should be encouraged to read books, words on a page, for his or her own pleasure, in his own time, dreaming his own - and the author's - dream_. There is no substitute. None.

We can only speculate why, but physically abusive parents seem to share certain characteristics. First, they have an appalling lack of impulse control.

As you gain more control over your past and present relationship with your parents, you will discover that your other relationships, especially your relationship with yourself, will improve dramatically. You will have the freedom, perhaps for the first time, to enjoy your own life.

Parents who feel good about themselves do not have to control their adult children. But [toxic parents] operate from a deep sense of dissatisfaction with their lives and a fear of abandonment. Their child's independence is like the loss of a limb to them. As the child grows older, it becomes ever more important for the parents to pull the strings that keep the child dependent. As long as toxic parents can make their son or daughter feel like a child, they can maintain control.

Our culture and our religions are almost unanimous in upholding the omnipotence of parental authority.

We embrace the word no because it allows us to exercise some control over our lives, whereas yes is simply an acquiescence.

It is behavior, not words, that has the greatest impact on a child. When a mother tells her daughter not to allow a man to control her or abuse her and then models the opposite in her own relationship with her husband, the girl will respond only to the behavioral message, not the verbal one.

Strange as it may seem, many people are still controlled by their parents after their deaths. The ghosts that haunt them may not be real in a supernatural sense, but they're very real in a psychological one. A parent's demands, expectations, and guilt trips can linger long after that parent has died.

Manipulative parents have a field day on holidays, spreading guilt as if it were Christmas cheer.

Children growing up in alcoholic homes are buffeted by unpredictable and volatile circumstances and personalities. In reaction, they often grow up with an overpowering need to control everything and everyone in their lives.

Punishers don't see themselves as punishing, but rather as maintaining order or keeping a firm hand on things or doing "what's right" or letting us know they can't be pushed around. They see themselves as strong and in charge. If their behavior hurts us, so be it. The end justifies the means.

Charlene had controlled Karen for so long, she had every reason to believe her daughter would buckle, that she'd never have to follow through on her threats.

The misogynist's control over his partner is like the roots of a plant: it spreads into many areas of her life. Her work, her interests, her friends, her children, and even her thoughts and feelings can be affected by his control. Her self-confidence and self-esteem can be so damaged as to bring about significant changes in the way she feels about herself and how she relates to the rest of the world.

The more she sees him as the primary source of her good feelings, the more she will need him to be the center of her life. Remember, the misogynist's jealousy and possessiveness have already seriously limited her world, which further enhances his importance to her. It is a vicious cycle. The more dependent she becomes, the more important he becomes. The more important he is, the more she is willing to give up for him, so that there is less left in her life that is free of him.

Money has always been the primary language of power.

But the misogynist can get very mad over virtually nothing. He explodes over the most insignificant events. He exaggerates, he maximizes—he makes mountains out of molehills. Perhaps his partner forgot to pick up the dry-cleaning, or the toast came out too dark, or maybe they ran out of toilet paper. He treats her momentary fall from grace as if it were a federal crime.

The hope that he'll change, the search for the magic key, and the intensity of her love all combine to place the woman in a very vulnerable position. Her acceptance of her partner's insults, humiliations, and scare tactics has given him enormous power over her: he can now control her behavior and feelings by the mere switch of a mood. This can be a terrifying position for her.

In addition to threatening to physically harm his partner, the misogynist may threaten to harm himself or his children. He may threaten to cut off all the money, or he may threaten to find someone else and leave if his partner doesn't do what he wants her to. The more a woman gives in to these threats and intimidations, the less power she has in the relationship. Once she feels helpless, her fears become even more overwhelming.

The misogynist must control how his partner thinks, feels, behaves, and with whom and what she involves herself. It is amazing how quickly even successful, competent women will disavow their own talents and power in order to gain their partners' love and approval.

Some misogynists do not resort to the obvious cruelty of scare tactics and screamed insults to gain control of their partners. Instead of raising their voices, they wear down their partners through unrelenting criticism and fault-finding. This type of psychological abuse is particularly insidious because it is often disguised as a way of teaching the woman how to be a better person.

What makes a controlling parent so insidious is that the domination usually comes in the guise of concern.