Quotes from William Ury

Respect is essentially a yes to others, not to their demands, but rather to their basic humanity. In this sense, respect is indivisible. When we give respect to others, we are honoring the very same humanity that exists in us. When we acknowledge the dignity of others, we are acknowledging our own dignity. We cannot truly respect others without respecting ourselves at the same time.

Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA). Your

Once the fight-or-flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to our limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. We forget our purpose and often act exactly contrary to our interests. When we react, we give away our power—our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better. When we react, we are, in effect, saying no to our interests, no to ourselves.

Most attackers are looking for easy victims. They're not looking for a fight, not even a verbal one. Saying No makes you a less attractive target. Submitting and being nice to attackers in the hope that they will be nice to you in return is not the safest strategy." Saying "No!" helps you gather your energy, reminds you of your right to say No, draws attention, and expresses your power.

The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe our selves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation.

H. W. Longfellow, "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.

The purpose of negotiation is to explore whether you can satisfy your interests better through an agreement than you could by pursuing your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA). Your

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. —Ambrose Bierce If

Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are.

pain may be inevitable but suffering is optional.

People who have rediscovered their capacity to create inner satisfaction are far less likely to get trapped in a mindset of scarcity and more likely to use their innate creativity to expand the pie.

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. —Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat

As Carl Rogers, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, once noted: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I change.

that gratitude for life came from being happy

O pessimista vê dificuldade em toda oportunidade. O otimista vê oportunidade em toda dificuldade.

INTRODUCTION THE FIRST NEGOTIATION Let him who would move the world first move himself. —SOCRATES

Rarely is it advisable to meet prejudices and passions head on. Instead, it is best to appear to conform to them in order to gain time to combat them. One must know how to sail with a contrary wind and to tack until one meets a wind in the right direction. —Fortune de Felice, 1778

have come to the conclusion that the greatest obstacle to getting what we really want in life is not the other party, as difficult as he or she can be. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves. We get in our own way.

the secret to listening to others is to listen to ourselves first?

If I try to suppress or exclude him, he simply goes underground and continues to judge from a hiding place.

Accepting him, I find, is the best way to tame him.

A human being," Einstein once wrote, "is part of the whole called by us 'Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness . . .

If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, you wouldn't have any.