Quotes from Brene Brown

Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot tolerate having words wrapped around it. What it craves is secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you stay quiet, you stay in a lot of self-judgment

But in those moments when disappointment is washing over us and we're desperately trying to get our heads and hearts around what is or is not going to be, the death of our expectations can be painful beyond measure. The

regardless of our intentions, we can't force people to make positive changes by putting them down, threatening them with rejection, humiliating them in front of others or belittling them.

We're sick of being afraid and we're tired of hustling for our self-worth.

When we treat people as objects, we dehumanize them. We do something really terrible to their souls and to our own. Martin Buber, an Austrian-born philosopher, wrote about the differences between an I-it relationship and an I-you relationship. An I-it relationship is basically what we create when we are in transactions with people whom we treat like objects--people who are simply there to serve us or complete a task. I-you relationships are characterized by human connection and empathy.

When we own our stories, we get to write the ending.

I think it's also important to ask, "What need is driving this behavior?" and "Am I trying to reach, hurt, or connect with someone specifically, and is this the right way to do it?

When we feel joy, it is a place of incredible vulnerability—it's beauty and fragility and deep gratitude and impermanence all wrapped up in one experience. When we can't tolerate that level of vulnerability, joy actually becomes foreboding, and we immediately move to self-protection.

curiosity is deviant.

That when we surrender our own joy to make those in pain feel less alone or to make ourselves feel less guilty or seem more committed, we deplete ourselves of what it takes to feel fully alive and fueled by purpose.

Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them. Living

To foreclose on vulnerability and our emotional life out of fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.

And, yes, we're taking a huge emotional risk when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. But there's no equation where taking risks, braving uncertainty, and opening ourselves up to emotional exposure equals weakness.

Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply setting their intentions; Inspired to make new and different choices; Going. They take action.

It's allowing yourself to recognize the shiver of vulnerability—that "Oh, shit, I have something worth losing now" feeling—and to just sit with it, and be grateful that you have something you want, in your hand, that it feels good to hold and recognize.

Empathy is connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience

Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5 percent. Living with obesity, 20 percent. Excessive drinking, 30 percent. And living with loneliness? It increases our odds of dying early by 45 percent

High lonesome

familiar grief—a grief we've come to know and understand and even integrate into our lives—can surprise us again and again, often in the form of anguish. This is especially true when something sparks shock and incredulity in us, like the letter that Carmen's mother had written to her.

What is the one thing that people who can fully lean into joy have in common? Gratitude. They practice gratitude. It's not an "attitude of gratitude"—it's an actual practice. They keep a journal, or make a note of what they're grateful for on their phones, or share it with family members.

The research participants described trust as a slow-building, iterative, and layered process that happens over time. Both trust-building and rumbling with vulnerability involve risk. That's what makes courage hard and rare.

When we hear stories about shame that don't fit with our experiences, our first reaction is often to distance ourselves from the experiences—" My mother would never say that" or "I don't get women who don't enjoy sex" or "She's so naïve—her husband's a wacko." The distancing turns very quickly into blame, judgment and separation. This fuels the shame epidemic. Let

Empathy is a strange and powerful thing. There is no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly

We should not test and build on theories that are just conjecture—especially when it comes to hypothesizing about underrepresented groups while knowing very little about their stories and lived experiences.