Quotes from Brene Brown

Panic, anxiety, fear, and hysteria, followed by freedom, pride, and amazement—then a little more panic.

But if we understand fear, blame and disconnection as intricately woven together to create shame, it becomes very clear why shame is so powerful, complex and difficult to overcome.

Get a one-inch by one-inch piece of paper and write down the names of the people whose opinions of you matter ... the people on your list should be the people who love you not despite your vulnerability and imperfections, but because of them.

Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows. It consumes us. We need to share our experience. Shame happens between people, and it heals between people.

I am mindful of other people's time.

empathy is best understood as a skill because being empathic, or having the capacity to show empathy, is not a quality that is innate or intuitive. We might be naturally sensitive to others, but there is more to empathy than sensitivity.

Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. It doesn't deserve your energy or engagement. Just step over the comments and keep daring, always remembering that armor is too heavy a price to pay to engage with cheap-seat feedback.

Shame is a social emotion. Shame happens between people and it heals between people. Even if I feel it alone, shame is the way I see myself through someone else's eyes. Self-compassion is often the first step to healing shame—we need to be kind to ourselves before we can share our stories with someone else.

Carl Jung argued that a paradox is one of our most valued spiritual possessions and a great witness to the truth.

We identified four key learnings during our rumble. First, as a leadership team, we need a shared understanding of all the moving pieces so no single person is the connective tissue.

What emerged from the data on numbing was exactly what Louden speaks to: "It's not what you do; it's why you do it that makes the difference." The invitation is to think about the intention behind our numbing choices and, if helpful, to discuss these issues with family, close friends, or a helping professional.

If we want to reignite innovation and passion, we have to rehumanize work. When shame becomes a management style, engagement dies. When failure is not an option we can forget

As leaders I certainly believe we all want to do the right thing, but we don't always have the bandwidth or experience to take care of someone the way they need to be taken care of.

in this perception-driven world, the big question is always: Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control?

we're intentionally or unintentionally creating cultures that, instead of leveraging the unique gifts of the human heart like vulnerability, empathy, and emotional literacy, are trying to lock those gifts away.

From gangs to gossiping, we'll do what it takes to fit in if we believe it will meet our need for belonging. But it doesn't. We can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we're embraced for who we are.

the pull on my emotional bandwidth, the sheer determination it takes to stay calm under pressure, and the weight of continuous problem solving and decision making.

When we stop numbing and start feeling and learning again, we have to reevaluate everything, especially how to

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful. — TERRI ST. CLOUD,

shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change and do better.

What's the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between "I am bad" and "I did something bad." Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad.

Most of us are good at giving help, but when it comes to vulnerability, we need to ask for help too.

It is not easy to hate people close up. And when we are in pain and fear, anger and hate are our go-to emotions. Almost everyone I've ever interviewed or known will tell you that it's easier to be pissed off than it is to be hurt or scared.

Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver.