Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Heinrich had a reputation locally for cunning, but Ankh-Morpork had overtaken cunning a thousand years ago, had sped past devious, had left artful far behind, and had now, by a roundabout route, arrived at straightforward.

But right now, as for my own philosophy, there is a quotation that rather sums it up: "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of the list the man who arrived just before you.

It's all about balance, do you see? Balance is the trick. Keep the balance and - she stopped. You've ridden on a seesaw? One end goes up, one end goes down. But the bit in the middle, that stays where it is. Upness and downness go right through it. Don't matter how high or low the ends go, it keeps the balance. She sniffed. Magic is mostly movin' stuff around.

And there was nothing you could do about a woman like that. She just turned herself into a hammer and you ran right into her.

When you have their full attention in your grip, their hearts and minds will follow.

If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly," said Granny, fleeing into aphorisms, the last refuge of an adult under siege.

If he went over the falls now, he might get to the bottom before they did. That wasn't a good sentence, however he tried it.

Esk wouldn't have known what a collective noun was if it had spat in her eye, but she knew there was a herd of goats and a coven of witches.

It is amazing what people will obey, if a clear and confident voice is used

She was almost there. She could feel the weight of herself, the ponderousness of her body, the distant memories of the dawn of time when rock was molten and free. For the first time in her life she knew what it was like to have balconies.

They were scrawny, even by Feegle standards, with barely a wisp of beard hair between them and impractically low-slung spogs knocking about their knees, their kilts hung low on their skinny hips. To Tiffany's amazement, she could see the top bands of colored pants riding high above them. pants? On a Feegle? The times were indeed changing. Pull yon kilts up, lads! Ron muttered as they pushed their way past.

the truth is a fog, in which one man sees the heavenly host and the other one sees a flying elephant.

It only takes a tweak to make the whole world new.

No, when it came to avoiding going to church, the church he stolidly avoided going to was St. Cecil and All Angels, no-nonsense C. of E., and he wouldn't have dreamed of avoiding going to any other.

This Is Religion, Boy. Not Comparison Bloody Shopping! You Shall Not Subject Your God To Market Forces!

She felt happy and wondered if she'd ever felt this happy before. The gold light, the falling seeds, the dancing bees... it was all one thing. This was the opposite of the dark desert. Here, light was everywhere and filled her up inside. She could feel herself here but see herself from above, twirling with a buzzing shadow that sparkled golden as the light struck the bees. Moments like this paid for it all.

It was a Magnum .32, CIA issue, gray, mean, heavy, capable of blowing a man away at thirty paces, and leaving nothing more than a red mist, a ghastly mess, and a certain amount of paperwork.

It's all bloody lies about the sea. It's just all yuk with lobsters in it.

Drunkenness had this to be said for it, it stopped the flow of inspirations.

Ricewind had always relied on running away. But somerimes, perhaps, you had to stand and fight, if only because there was nowhere left to run.

Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.

NO, THERE ISN'T, I'M AFRAID. WE ARE ALL FLOATING IN THE WINDS OF TIME. BUT YOUR CANDLE, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, WILL FLICKER FOR SOME TIME BEFORE IT GOES OUT—A LITTLE REWARD FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED. FOR I CAN SEE THE BALANCE AND YOU HAVE LEFT THE WORLD MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT, AND IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT. . . .

Just because you're a zombie doesn't mean you're a bad person.