Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Siren voices tell me, 'You don't have to keep going on.' And then you think, 'I'm a writer. What do I do? Sit there watching my wife clean up?' I don't know. I like being a writer.

When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that.

I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

I think we are waiting for an e-book that even non-techies can be comfortable with. From my point of view, the biggest change is that I don't have to spend most of the day printing out and packaging a manuscript. I think I almost miss that.

It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has helped us to live longer and healthier lives, to help us die peacefully among our loved ones in our own home without a long stay in God's waiting room.

There are things around, and I know where they can be got quite easily, but I quite like waking up to the sunshine.

I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.

If it wasn't for the fun and money, I really don't know why I'd bother.

My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 years old, because the kids who read who are 12 years old are reading books for adults. I read all of the James Bond books when I was about 11, which was approximately the right time to read James Bond books.

Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be a Mule?'

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent-protection.

Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.

When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

I don't think I've ever been critical of the money Douglas Adams makes, especially since, as has been tactfully pointed out, I myself have had to change banks having filled the first one up.

Other people salted away money for their old age, but Nanny preferred to accumulate memories.

Money doesn't buy happiness, Gytha." "I only wanted to rent it for a few weeks!

I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.

Money makes people rich; it is a fallacy to think it makes them better, or even that it makes them worse. People are what they do, and what they leave behind.

If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.