Quotes from Terry Pratchett

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

If you are going to write, say, fantasy - stop reading fantasy. You've already read too much. Read other things; read westerns, read history, read anything that seems interesting, because if you only read fantasy and then you start to write fantasy, all you're going to do is recycle the same old stuff and move it around a bit.

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'

I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brandy in my hand and Thomas Tallis on the iPod. Oh, and since this is England, I had better add, 'If wet, in the library.' Who could say that this is bad?

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.

I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.

Death: Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.

Your whole life passes in front of your eyes before you die. This is called living.

The best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's.

I am a great fan of science, but I cannot do a quadratic equation.

When I was a kid, I read the science-fiction shelves, and I read the fantasy shelves.

I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz.

I've always felt that what I have going for me is not my imagination, because everyone has an imagination. What I have is a relentlessly controlled imagination. What looks like wild invention is actually quite carefully calculated.

I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.

There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal-sized billiard balls.

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.

Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.

An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.