Quotes from Seth Grahame-Smith

In a way, it was the beginning of something I'd long feared: that vampires would become part of the popular culture. That people would be too busy worshiping them or imitating them or even laughing at them—and forget to fear them.

Mr. Hurst looked at her with astonishment. ''Do you prefer reading to cards?'' said he; ''that is rather singular.'' ''I prefer a great many things to cards, Mr. Hurst,'' said Elisabeth; ''Not the least of which is the sensation of a newly sharpened blade as it punctures the round belly of a man.'' Mr. Hurst was silent for the remainder of the evening.

Judge us not equally, Abraham

Emotion is emotion, and politics is politics, and one has nothing to do with the other.

Nothing would surprise him. Nothing could anymore. But it didn't matter. Even if it meant the most painful, hideous death a human being had ever experienced, they weren't getting the baby, and they weren't getting her. Twenty yards… He gripped the handle of his sword tightly…?breathed deep of the desert air. Okay, Balthazar…let's die.

I'm not interested in what you know," said Herod. "I'm interested in watching you scream." "Then you're going to be disappointed." "We'll see," said Herod with a smile.

Try telling a starving vampire to control himself when there's warm blood on his lips. You'd have as much luck telling a burning man not to scream.

Funny to get so close...only to have him ripped away again.

I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these. What have we to do but stay indoors and read till the cure is at last discovered?

My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that Mr. Collins, who seems always eager to talk of Heaven, may be dispatched there by a horde of zombies before I am dead.

Let them burn," she said. "Let them have a taste of eternity." Turning to her cousin, who had averted his eyes, she added, "You see, Mr. Collins . . . God has no mercy. And neither must we.

my enemy's enemy is my friend.

Judge them not equally.

These fools who haven't the slightest idea how to live the morals they espouse. These fools who proclaim themselves man of God, yet show not the slightest reverence to His word.

10 PLACES TO NEVER, EVER, EVER GO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Rooms lit by a single hanging light bulb. Rooms lit by nothing. Any graveyard that isn't Arlington National Cemetery. Summer camps whose annual counselor murder rate exceeds 10 percent. Maine. "The old_____________." Hotels/motels that aren't part of giant international chains. Upstairs. Downstairs. Any log cabin anywhere on the face of the earth.

fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with anyone with whom my father had once vowed to castrate.

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil—a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome." "And your defect, Mr. Darcy, is to hate everybody." "And yours," he replied with a smile, "is willfully to misunderstand them.

Your balls, Mr. Darcy?" He reached out and closed her hand around them, and offered, "They belong to you, Miss Bennet.

I'd heard it said that "when a man is tired of moving, he moves to New York, and the movement comes to him.

see, to be upon the spot to share with

Yes," thought Elizabeth, "a summer with so few balls would be miserable indeed for a girl who thinks of little else.

Henry O. Sturges, born in England, March 2nd, 1563. Landed at Roanoke, July 27th, 1587. Friend to the American Revolution, present at the Battles of Trenton and Yorktown, staunch supporter of the North in its hour of need, adviser to presidents, a decorated soldier who distinguished himself in the trenches of the Great War, and member of the Union Brotherhood—a collective of vampires dedicated to preserving the freedom of man and his dominion over the earth.

In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Elizabeth

Big budget. Really? If you are in a horror flick, it's almost certainly alien or satanic in nature. But it's more likely that you've made the common mistake of misdiagnosing a "psychological thriller" as a horror movie. If so, heed this advice: If you're looking for your child, he/she probably never existed. Also: your husband did it.