Quotes from Seth Grahame-Smith

He that falls into sin is a man; that grieves at it, is a saint; that boasteth of it, is a devil. —Thomas Fuller

If you're willing to listen, every so often, life—or God or the Universe or whatever you prefer to call it—lets us know that it's paying attention

Every service had a price. Every object a value. If someone made you a sword, you paid him the appropriate amount or traded something of equal value with him. If a man saved your life, you either paid him the amount you considered that life worth, or you saved his in return. Until either of those things was transacted, you were in his debt. It was business. And if Balthazar believed in anything with religious fervor, it was that.

One thing Henry found especially lacking were my descriptions of death. "They read like a eunuch writing about an orgy" is how he put it.

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat." It

There was one vampire, however, who refused to leave… who believed that the dream of a nation of immortals was still within reach—so long as Abraham Lincoln was dead. His name was John Wilkes Booth. FIG.3E - JOHN WILKES BOOTH (SEATED) POSES FOR A PORTRAIT WITH CONFEDERATE PRESIDENT JEFFERSON DAVIS IN RICHMOND, CIRCA 1863.

I cannot speak of the things I have seen, nor seek the comfort for the pain I feel. If I did, this nation would descend into a deeper kind of madness, or think of it's president mad. The truth, I am afraid, must live as paper and ink. Hidden and forgotten until every man named here has passed to dust.

Without death, life is meaningless. It is a story that can never be told. A song that can never be sung. For how would one finish it?

Plant your feet and stand firm. The only question is where to put your feet.

Sloths. There's actually nothing to suggest sloths are evil, but seeing as they're the only animal named after a deadly sin, it's probably best to avoid them.

The Catholic Church created strict guidelines for the rite of exorcism back in 1614—guidelines that have remained largely unchanged in 400 years. However, one notable amendment came in 1952, when priests were warned not to confuse mental illness with demonic possession

seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English parts.

Depart then, impious one! Depart, accursed one! Depart with all your deceits, for God has willed that man should be his temple!

I beg to differ," said Doyle. "Famous murderers are only famous because they get caught. The best killers are those whose names we shall never know.

Minions of Satan don't react well to the Eucharist.

This house … is clean. —POLTERGEIST (1982)

I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. —Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Mrs. Orville H. Browning April 1st, 1838

Anything with a beat is meat,

If a movie has more characters than an audience can keep track of, the audience will get confused and lose interest in the story.

Real power... comes not from hate, but from truth.

Abraham Lincoln comes from nothing, has no education, no money, lives in the middle of nowhere on the frontier. And despite the fact that he suffers one tragedy and one setback after another, through sheer force of will, he becomes something extraordinary: not only the president but the person who almost single-handedly united the country.

Of all the weapons in the world, love is the most dangerous.

Of all the weapons she had commanded, Elizabeth knew the least of love; and of all the weapons in the world, love was the most dangerous.

Her only fault is that she lacks sense enough to avoid falling in love with such a fool as I!