Quotes from Adam Sandler

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

When you're around the kids, you feel like you act the most grown up just because you're supposed to lead. I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

I can't run a company... I can't even run my own life!

It's nice when little teams win.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

I do feel good doing them [family-friendly movies], but it's not going to be my way of life. I'm a comedian.

The only reason I got into stand-up was because my brother told me to. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was 17 and my brother went to a comedy club and he said - you can do that.

Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I grew up cursing a lot.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

I don't know who I touch and who I don't. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don't have any secrets. I don't know the reasons I've been so well received.

You've just got to give yourself time - that's good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you're good at and what you're not good at.

My intention is never to hurt anybody. I'm happy when people are having a good time.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.