Quotes from Al Franken

I get satisfaction when I write something I like, when I'm happy with it.

If I put myself on the ballot and even 50 people voted for me, it'd be a travesty.

I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement - and our record of having the nation's highest voter participation.

Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.

I'm a bit of a shill for the Clinton Administration, which has its perks. I'm invited to all the inaugural balls.

The Republican agenda is a radical vision in which Medicaid is slashed to the bone - in which we start to balance the budget on the backs of, literally, our most vulnerable citizens.

I don't know how many of you have been to New York, but if a building is two blocks away from anything, you can't see it.

I also focus on Bush and his administration - who do a lot of lying - and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn't be able to get away with.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

Whining is anger through a small opening.

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I've been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you're under pressure.

The next thing I am doing is moving back home to Minnesota and getting involved in politics. I'm looking at a run for Senate in 2008, but in the meantime I am focused on knitting together the progressive network in the upper Midwest.

We need to be pro-science we have to go back to science.

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I've had to learn a little bit about it. It's not rocket science: You get ratings, that's good.

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW!

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe. Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.

We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America like a 4-year-old loves his mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad and helping your loved one grow.

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!