Quotes from Andy Griffiths

No detective ever solved a mystery without the help of a hot jam doughnut.

THE 100 PERCENT TOTALLY DANGER-PROOF FUTURE IS AMAZING!' we shout. Terry runs into the wall again. I jump back into the shark's mouth.

Laughter is the best medicine.

two guinea pigs

A bunch of monkeys were riding the marshmallow machine straight at us and firing marshmallows at our heads.

If life gets tough, what do you have that you can always count on? A Your fingers. 'But we have to write this book,' says Terry.

what's the alternative? We can't just

Zack walked across the room to the window, leaned out and peered into the night.

bearer of good news,' says Bill, 'but I'd better be on my way.' He

scooter back down the path he's cleared to our front door and disappears into the overgrown forest. 'I had the most amazing dream while we were asleep,' says Terry. 'I dreamed we added another 13

cats! A whole bunch of them...13 to be exact, with Silky in the lead! They were flying in formation, coming in low and fast

teeth. But the pirate just smiled

chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and honeycomb.

axle-grease, grass, toothpaste, fish-milkshake and raw horseflesh.

a rocket-powered carrot-launcher

After assembly

World War II sea mines

Well, yeah," says Terry, "they are, but it was only designed for one person.

a haunted house

Dirty nappies.

thirty-six rabbits.

An artist's impression of what it would look like if Mr Big Nose's nose exploded.

shared a pot of fresh bee tea.

Well,' says Mr Big Nose, 'I could use an enthusiastic filing monster like you in my office at Big Nose Books.' 'Oh, that would be wonderful,' says the monster. 'I always wanted to get into publishing. It starts with P, one of my favourite letters.' Terry giggles. 'P,' he says.