Quotes About Flexibility

QUESTION: What if my child and I agree on a solution and then she won't do what she agreed to? ANSWER: As you've read, that's usually a sign that the solution wasn't as realistic and mutually satisfactory as you may have first thought. That's not a catastrophe, just a reminder that the first solution to a problem often doesn't get the job

In the Invitation step, kids get practice at considering a range of solutions to a problem, considering the likely outcomes of those solutions, and shifting from a solution that only works for them to a solution that will work for other people, too.

The problem is not that caregivers sometimes use Plan A. The problem is that caregivers use Plan A a lot and stick with it even when it's not working.

Strategy #3: Asking about the situational variability of the unsolved problem; in other words, why is the child meeting the expectation sometimes and not other times?

When you use Plan B, you do so with the understanding that the solution is not predetermined. If you already know how the problem is going to be solved before you start trying to solve it, then you're not using Plan B . . . you're using a "clever" form of Plan A. Plan B is not just a "clever" form of Plan A. Plan B is collaborative, Plan A is unilateral.

it's good for the kid and adult to acknowledge that the problem may require additional discussion, because there's actually a decent chance that the first solution won't solve the problem durably.

Adults sometimes become impatient in the midst of Plan B and head for Plan A or Plan C.

In schools, as in homes, there's a tendency to work on the hot-button problem that precipitated a challenging episode on a particular day. But because unsolved problems wax and wane, the hot-button unsolved problem that was the focal point on one day is often replaced by a different hot-button unsolved problem the next.

Kids who exhibit concerning behaviors are compromised in the global skills of flexibility, adaptability, frustration tolerance, emotion regulation, and problem solving. These are skills most of us take for granted. And most kids are blessed with sufficient levels of those skills. Your child was not so fortunate.

that your child is already very motivated to do well and that his challenging episodes reflect a developmental delay in the skills of flexibility, frustration tolerance, and problem solving.

Difficulty seeing the "grays"; concrete, literal, black-and-white thinking Difficulty deviating from rules or routine Difficulty handling unpredictability, ambiguity, uncertainty, or novelty Difficulty shifting from original idea or solution Difficulty adapting to changes in plan or new rules Difficulty taking into account situational factors that would suggest the need to adjust a plan

Moving from one environment (such as playing outside) to a completely different environment (such as doing homework inside) requires a shift from one mind-set (When I'm playing outside, it's okay to run around and make noise and socialize) to another (When I'm doing homework, I need to sit at my desk and concentrate on my schoolwork). If a kid has difficulty with this skill, there's a good chance he'll still be thinking and

INFLEXIBILITY + INFLEXIBILITY = MELTDOWN

The fact is that the future will not be a continuation of the past. It will be a series of discontinuities. And only by accepting these discontinuities and doing something about them will we stand any chance of success and survival in the twenty-first century.

If you had told me in 1968 that I'd end up being a personal productivity consultant," he says, "I would have told you that you're out of your mind." He drifted from job to job—he counted thirty-five by his thirty-fifth birthday

Take your inspiration from wherever you find it, no matter how ridiculous.

The most important thing I have to say is that you should not take too literally what is said in this book. Every child is different, every parent is different, every illness or behavior problem is somewhat different from every other. All I can do is describe the most common developments and problems in the most general terms. Remember that you are more familiar with your child's temperament and patterns than I could ever be.

Studies have found that old-fashioned lie-on-the-floor static stretching reduces your ability to produce power,

Eu estou onde estou porque todos os meus planos deram errado". Isso é absolutamente verdadeiro. As pontes que construía para chegar aonde eu queria ruíam uma após a outra. Eu era então obrigado a procurar caminhos não pensados. E aconteceu, por vezes, que nem mesmo segui, por vontade própria, os caminhos alternativos à minha frente. Escorreguei. A vida me empurrou. Fui literalmente obrigado a fazer o que não queria.

Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds' wings.

When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent.

I am more interested in dogs than in dogmas. Obviously

You do not retreat from a road-block; you make your way around it, or look for another route to where you are going. And you learn to zigzag ... Take a different route, albeit a longer one.

It is no use getting upset about delays in India; they come with unfailing punctuality.