Quotes About Healing

As much as I can forgive myself, that much can I forgive others. What I often forgive in others is an old pain of mine, released from the disgust of self-hate. It is an old vulnerability of mine that I now love and welcome like a bird with a broken wing. Shame and self-hate did not start with me, but with all my heart, I deign that they will stop with me. I will do unto myself as I would have others do unto me.

Ambivalating is one of the healing processes of psychotherapy. When clients are encouraged to thoroughly explore their conflicting feelings about job or relationship issues, they eventually connect with a deep intuitive sense about what is best for them.

Natural anger eventually arises when we really get how little and defenseless we were when our parents bullied us into hating ourselves.

grieving the losses of childhood, and understanding how abusive and negligent parenting is at the root of our problems.

Toxic shame can also be created by constant parental neglect and rejection.

Until all of the emotions are accepted indiscriminately (and acceptance does not imply license to dump emotions irresponsibly or abusively), there can be no wholeness, no real sense of well being, and no solid sense of self esteem.

A great loss brings up an emotional storm that opens up a hidden reservoir of childhood pain

Food offers us our first outside source of self-soothing, and when a child is starving for love, he frequently makes food his love object.

Survivors who want to defend their healthy ambivalence can respond to make-up-your-mind assaults by replying that the matter in question is emotional and clearly not a matter of reason or choice. I remember how my own natural

Extensive childhood abuse installs a powerful people-are-dangerous program.

person injures and exhausts himself in compulsive attempts to avoid a disavowed feeling, and actually becomes more stuck

repression of one end of the emotional continuum often leads to a repression of the whole continuum, and the person becomes emotionally deadened.

For many survivors, authority figures are the ultimate triggers. I have known several survivors, who have never gotten so much as a parking ticket, who cringe in anxiety whenever they come across a policeman or a police car.

When we disburden ourselves of old unresolved traumas, energy wasted holding the past at bay becomes available for celebrating daily life.

Pain is excess energy crying out for release." – Gerald Heard

John Briere, quip that if Cptsd were ever given its due, the DSM [The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] used by all mental health professionals would shrink from its dictionary like size to the size of a thin pamphlet.

As I am writing this, my son's friend synchronistically tells him: "This Lego creature I made spreads brain attack and eats away at the person." I marvel at this synchronicity and think: "What a fitting image for the trauma-inducing parent".

Cognitive recovery work aims to make your brain user friendly. It focuses on recognizing and eliminating the destructive thoughts and thinking processes you were indoctrinated with in childhood.

The survivor becomes imprisoned by a jailer who will accept nothing but perfection. He is chauffeured by a hysterical driver who sees nothing but danger in every turn of the road. Chapters 9 and 10 focus extensively on practical tools for shrinking your critic.

the survivor learns to "follows his own bliss". He is freer to pursue activities and interests that naturally appeal to him. He evolves into his own sense of style. He may even feel emboldened to coif and dress himself without adherence to the standards of fashion. He may extend this freedom into his home décor. In this vein, I have seen many survivors discover their own aesthetic, as well as an increased appreciation of beauty in general.

They cauterized my feelings To stop the bleeding of my tears And now I drown alone inside A pool that's hemorrhaged for years.

More and more research suggests that our ability to metabolize painful emotional states is enhanced by communicating with a safe enough other person.

to notice the spiritual beauty of many other human beings. How miraculous that many of us can at times be deeply caring and loving despite our own woundedness.

Advanced flashback management, then, involves learning how to manage the disconcerting experience of falling asleep feeling reasonably put together and waking up in a flashback. Typically this occurs because a dream has triggered you into a flashback. If you remember the dream, you can sometimes figure out why it triggered you. With growing mindfulness you may even understand which events from the previous day triggered your dream.