Quotes About Support

If you do use words, it's best to restate what they're saying; this is called reflective listening. You can't talk someone out of feeling angry, sad, or frustrated, but you can be a sponge and absorb their emotional intensity. If you stay regulated, ultimately they will "catch" your calm.

The healthiest way to do this is through relationships. Connectedness regulates and rewards us.

Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World Vivek H. Murthy, M.D.

Isolated and disconnected, we are vulnerable. In community, we can protect one another, cooperatively hunt and gather, share with the dependents of our family, our clan. Relational glue keeps our species alive, and love is relational superglue

We know that a dysregulated adult cannot regulate a dysregulated child. An exhausted, frustrated, dys-regulated adult can't regulate anybody.

el castigo, la privación y la fuerza únicamente consiguen volver a traumatizar a estos niños y exacerbar sus problemas.

This is why people are most vulnerable in the first six months after major transitions—after leaving the safe, stable, and known behind to start building a new set of connections.

A menudo sucede que, cuando los padres ven que las cosas parecen ir bien, se dejan desmotivar por el precio y los inconvenientes de la terapia. Como Amber «estaba fenomenal», su madre no la presionó cuando se resistió a encontrar un nuevo terapeuta.

When you have friends, family, and other healthy people in your life, you have a natural healing environment. We heal best in community. Creating a network-a village, whatever you want to call it-gives you opportunities to revisit trauma in moderate, controllable doses.

A person's capacity to connect, to be regulating and regulated, to reward and be rewarded, is the glue that keeps families and communities together.

En realidad, no puedes quererte a ti mismo si no has sido y eres querido. No es posible construir la capacidad de amar de forma aislada.

Everyone needs people who can listen, be present, and make them feel heard and seen.

It is impossible to be truly wise without some real-life hardship. And we cannot develop post-traumatic wisdom without weathering and, most importantly, as you [Oprah] put, weathering together…A healthy community is a healing community, and a healing community is full of hope because it has seen its own people weather-survive and thrive.

The value of early intervention programs, even those that have only brief "doses" of positive interaction, can't be underestimated.

pathological need to be needed and their identities revolve around being seen as nurturers and helpers.

There is a direct relationship between a person's degree of social isolation and their risk for physical and mental health problems. But when you do have connectedness…you have built-in buffers for whatever stress or distress you experience.

Because it's not the "friends" or "followers" who stay by your side when you're sick or when you get divorced or just feel lonely. They're not sitting at the table with their neighbors—or even, in many cases, with their families.

ofrecerles una estructura, no rigidez; cariño emocional en lugar de afecto forzado.

los propios padres con frecuencia desconfían enseguida de cualquier tratamiento que no culpe al niño, y solo al niño, de todas las dificultades.

Think of the diversity within a small multifamily, multigenerational clan. Children growing up had numerous adults and older children who could model, teach, nurture, discipline, and care for them. Each person in the clan had a unique set of strengths—the right person at the right time. No single person was expected to provide all of the emotional, social, physical, or cognitive needs of the developing child.

We want to provide therapeutic, healing interactions. Moderate, controllable, and predictable interactions.

We heal best in community. Creating a network—a village, whatever you want to call it—gives you opportunities to revisit trauma in moderate, controllable doses.

Isolation and loneliness are an epidemic.

we find that the best predictor of your current mental health is your current "relational health," or connectedness. This connectedness is fueled by two things: the basic capabilities you've developed to form and maintain relationships, and the relational "opportunities" you have in your family, neighborhood, school, and so forth.