Quotes About Control

Women are the bloodthirsty sex," said Ric sadly. "We get the reputation, but it is only because the women stand behind us, and say, 'Kill it. Squish it.

Don't you have something more important to do?" I asked him, flipping on the light on. "Like ruling the world or something" -Mercy

Very well. You may help me to exterminate the society of wizards.

could land or take off from the planet. They hoped that the young Queen of Naboo would agree quickly to their demands. Then they could use Naboo as an example to persuade or force other planets to do the same. But

I believe the root of all evil is abuse of power.

But how can the devil be stopped when he lives inside you?

What blinds people the most to controlling behavior is the belief that the person who consistently defines them truly loves them.

Controllers think differing ideas and views are personal opposition to be rejected and destroyed. And, since Controllers identify themselves with their prescriptions, it becomes important to them that others be dissuaded of theirs. Their success is measured in conversions.

A poisonous pedagogy is a toxic method of teaching or raising a child. It is a method which controls the behavior of the child by the misuse of Power Over the child. This misuse of power causes the child extreme pain. If the child becomes an adult without having worked through the hurt and pain of the experience, he will perpetuate the misuse of power in adulthood. Consequently, the adult can become toxic or poisonous to others. This toxicity is what we find in abusive relationships.

Verbal abusers block discussions because they are not willing to talk with their mates on an equal basis. The abuser prevents the possibility of mutual support and planning together and so deprives himself and his partner of the many benefits such partnership would bring.

Generally, in a verbally abusive relationship the abuser denies the abuse. Verbal abuse most often takes place behind closed doors. Physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse.

But almost everyone I have spoken to has said that being the object of a Control Connection leaves them feeling disintegrated, as if they were being dismantled within. By

verbal abuse is an issue of control, a means of holding power over another. This abuse may be overt or covert, constant, controlling, and what Bach and Deutsch (1980) call "crazymaking.

Paradoxically, Controllers usually see themselves as self-reliant even while they are dependent upon others to maintain their backwards connections and their fragile identity. They often carry the banner of rugged independence, of needing no one, while launching an ever-accelerating assault upon someone else's individuality. They are most threatened by Witnesses who do not conform to their particular idea of how things should be.

The abuser's worth is derived from a sense of one-upmanship and winning over. If the partner accomplishes something, the abuser views her accomplishment

The abuser controls the interpersonal communication and, therefore, the interpersonal reality by refusing to discuss upsetting interactions. The abuser blames the partner for upsetting interactions, and the partner believes him and therefore thinks that they are her fault.

In some cases, the partner of an abuser may eventually come to the conclusion that something is wrong in the relationship but not know what it is. This is most common if the abuser is covert. The abuser may quietly counter nearly every comment and enthusiasm the partner expresses.

You get conditioned to it and confused by it, and then you don't know what's going on.

Abusive statements are lies about you which are told to you. They violate your boundaries. The abuser in effect invades your mind, makes up a "story" about your motives, and then tells it to you. No human being has the right to do that to another.

deny the abuse, she may grow to fear his anger and his unpredictability. At the same time she may fear the loss of love and the security she believed she had in the relationship.

Anything achieved by the partner is seen as a threat by the abuser.

The underlying premise of this book is that verbal abuse is an issue of control, a means of holding power over another. This abuse may be overt or covert, constant, controlling, and what Bach and Deutsch (1980) call "crazymaking.

Interestingly, abusers who trivialize their partners often brag about them to others as they would brag about a possession.

An oppressed group's experiences may put its members in a position to see things differently, but their lack of control over the ideological apparatuses of society makes expressing a self-defined standpoint more difficult.