Quotes from Brene Brown

We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.

sometimes when we are beating ourselves up, we need to stop and say to that harassing voice inside, "Man, I'm doing the very best I can right now."

Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It's a shield. It's a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from flight.

People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.

Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.

Dehumanizing and holding people accountable are mutually exclusive. Humiliation and dehumanizing are not accountability or social justice tools, they're emotional off-loading at best, emotional self-indulgence at worst. And if our faith asks us to find the face of God in everyone we meet, that should include the politicians, media, and strangers on Twitter with whom we most violently disagree. When we desecrate their divinity, we desecrate our own, and we betray our faith.

Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.

Everyone wants to know why customer service has gone to hell in a handbasket. I want to know why customer behavior has gone to hell in a handbasket.

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. —JAMES A. BALDWIN

Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism.

I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.

At the end of the day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to say I contributed more than I criticized.

How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don't value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?

When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up, and say, "Damn. That really hurt, but this is important to me and I'm going in again"—my gut reaction is, "What a badass.

Courage is forged in pain, but not in all pain. Pain that is denied or ignored becomes fear or hate.

Science is not the truth. Science is finding the truth. When science changes its opinion, it didn't lie to you. It learned more.

Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.

Belonging: Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.

Joseph Campbell wrote, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.

Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.

Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

The near enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It says, "I will love this person (because I need something from them)." Or, "I'll love you if you'll love me back. I'll love you, but only if you will be the way I want." This isn't the fullness of love. Instead there is attachment—there is clinging and fear. True love allows, honors, and appreciates; attachment grasps, demands, needs, and aims to possess.

It's always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun.