Quotes from Brene Brown

Children who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad) struggle mightily with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. Using shame to parent teaches children that they are not inherently worthy of love. Shame

The shield required that I stay small and quiet behind it so as not to draw attention to my imperfections and vulnerabilities. It was exhausting.

Our faith narratives must be protected, and we must remember that no person is ordained to judge our divinity or to write the story of our spiritual worthiness.

Disappointments may be like paper cuts, but if those cuts are deep enough or if we accumulate them over a lifetime, they can leave us seriously wounded.

Steve said, You will always belong anywhere you show up as yourself and talk about yourself and your work in a real way.

curiosity is correlated with creativity, intelligence, improved learning and memory, and problem solving.

Music, like all art, gives pain and our most wrenching emotions voice, language, and form, so it can be recognized and shared. The magic of the high lonesome sound is the magic of all art: the ability to both capture our pain and deliver us from it at the same time.

To be honest, I think emotional accessibility is a shame trigger for researchers and academics. Very early in our training, we are taught that a cool distance and inaccessibility contribute to prestige, and that if you're too relatable, your credentials come into question.

Good made the powerful point that there's a vast difference between how we think about the term failure and how we think about the people and organizations brave enough to share their failures for the purpose of learning and growing. To pretend that we can get to helping, generous, and brave without navigating through tough emotions like desperation, shame, and panic is a profoundly dangerous and misguided assumption.

Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer.

You don't have to be a mother to experience mother-shame. Society views womanhood and motherhood as inextricably bound, therefore our value as women is often determined by where we are in relation to our roles as mothers or potential mothers.

Our rational, grown-up selves are good liars. The five-year-old tyrants within us are the ones who can tell it like it is.

we can fight our tendency to accept binaries by asking what additional perspectives are missing between the extremes.

Basically, men live under the pressure of one unrelenting message: Do not be perceived as weak.

The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity

Shame loves prerequisites. Our if/when worthiness list easily doubles as the gremlins' to-do list.

Not caring about our own pain and the pain of others is not working. How much longer are we willing to keep pulling drowning people out of the river one by one, rather than walking to the headwaters of the river to find the source of the pain? What will it take for us to let go of that earned self-righteousness and travel together to the cradle of the pain that is throwing all of us in at such a rate that we couldn't possibly save everyone?

We don't judge people when we feel good about ourselves.

When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of "Fit in and stand out!" It's not be yourself and respect others for being authentic, it's "Fit in, but win." I want to swim the same workout as you, and beat you at it.

as adults we realize that to live with courage, purpose, and connection—to be the people we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. The courage to be vulnerable means taking off the armor we use to protect ourselves, putting down the weapons that we use to keep people at a distance, showing up, and letting ourselves be seen.

In an interview with Bill Moyers that aired on public television in 1973, Dr. Angelou said: You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.

or when I loved so fiercely that rather than feeling gratitude and joy I could only prepare for loss—I

Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.

People learn how to treat us based on how they see us treating ourselves. If I don't put value on my work or my time, neither will the person I'm helping. Boundaries are a function of self respect and self love.