Quotes from Adam Rex

You heard my name was Chief Shouting Bear, he said. It doesn't matter. You can call me whatever you want, Stupidlegs.

The Freemen have 987 levels of membership, the first three of which are achieved merely by filling out an application. The 8th level is granted upon full acceptance into the local lodge, the 13th following Initiation, the 21st at the end of the Initiate's second week, and the 89th the first time he brings snacks.

Regarding stickyfish teams, I favor the Bigfield Fighting Koobish.

They were just people. They were too smart and too stupid to be anything else.

I felt a stack of shelves, and these were filled with plastic bottles and maybe buckets, and one object that felt like the worst thing in the world but which turned out later to be a sandwich.

it smelled the way a garage would smell if you left a bear inside it for too long.

Mark Twain said the difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug, and people think he was good, right ? Didn't write any decent characters, as far as I can tell, but otherwise fine.

So why the pelican? Said Haskoll. The thief was giving Haskoll a look that said, Man, why NOT the pelican?

You are singing to the preacher, said J.Lo. Preaching to the choir, I corrected him. Yes. This thing.

Control was the basis of all humor. Even at its most innocent, what was a joke or a clever comment if not a way to take control? To become King of the Moment.

Project: Potential was a separate class that the gifted students went to for an hour each day. The name was supposed to make it exciting, like Code Name: Cursive or Mission: State Capitals.

He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.

Scottish Play Doe was born at 4:13 a.m. on September 6th. The ink was barely dry on his father's new tattoo.

The Boov are having seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, boygirl, girlboy, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy." I

Apocalypse Hal was on the corner by the Laundromat. Hal was a neighborhood street preacher who worked at the fish and crab place next door. He wore a sandwich board sign of Bible verses and shouted angry things at passersby like "The end times are near" and "Seafood sampler $5.99." Now his sign just read "TOLD YOU SO," and he looked more anxious than angry.

I'd drained our bank account, and there was less than I'd expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept at the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled "DEAD SPIDERS." As if I hadn't always known it was there. As if I wouldn't have wanted to look at dead spiders. I

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

I am rubber but you are blue. Whatevers you are saying bounces off of me and I do not remember the rest.

I think there's a part of the brain, probably somewhere in the back, that won't give up believing in magic. It was the part that made cavemen believe that drawing elks on stone would make for a good hunt the next day. And it's still chugging along, making you think you have lucky socks, or that your kids' birthdays will win the lottery.

Sejal had not often thought of her home, or of India as a whole, as cool. She was dimly aware, however, of a white Westerner habit of wearing other cultures like T-shirts—the sticker bindis on club kids, sindoor in the hair of an unmarried pop star, Hindi characters inked carelessly on tight tank tops and pale flesh. She knew Americans liked to flash a little Indian or Japanese or African. They were always looking for a little pepper to put in their dish.

Why did you attack some girl's boots? J.Lo looked incredulous. She is still mad about this? he huffed. I TOLD her-I THOUGHT they were ANKLEwolves. Okay, whatever. I- Why elsenow would a person wear fur with shortpants? It makes no sense!

My partner and I are going to be run over by a rabbit driving a Citroën" just isn't the sort of thing that occurs to most people, no matter what kind of life they've led.

She had her shoes on now, and a diaper bag slung over one shoulder. In the opposite arm she cradled Andromeda, who was wearing both her Legolas Onesie and her Keebler booties. Which seemed wrong, you know—mixing two different kinds of elves like that. So now I knew Vicki was crazy.

There's a little bit of magic in every box!