Quotes from Allan Carr

I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

We had our first meeting yesterday, and we just laughed all the way through, so if we can bottle that, then I'll be happy. We just get on, and that's half the battle.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.