Quotes from Adam Carolla

I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

I get depressed at airports.

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.

Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.

I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

Life is just the time between crapping yourself.

When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

I am not a good cue card reader.

I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.