Quotes from Terry Pratchett

Quimby was eventually killed by a disgruntled poet during an experiment conducted in the palace grounds to prove the disputed accuracy of the proverb "The pen is mightier than the sword," and in his memory it was amended to include the phrase "only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp.

She had found them lodgings in The Shades, an ancient part of the city whose inhabitants were largely nocturnal and never inquired about one another's business because curiosity not only killed the cat but threw it in the river with weights tied to its feet.

He sat back and drank the really horrible tea the dwarfs made. Just for a moment there was an unusual feeling on bliss. Strange word, he thought. It's one of those words that described something that does not make a noise but if it did make a noise would sound just like that. Bliss . It's like the sound of a soft meringue melting gently on a warm plate.

You Don't Have To Be Pitilessly Sadistic To Work Here But It Helps!

Three cheeses isn't a choice, it's a penance.

It was like ... like wizardry, but without the wizards and the mess.

Sooner or later, it's all about the soul.

No wonder this man was a diplomat. You couldn't trust him an inch, he thought in loops, and you couldn't help liking him despite it.

if we wanted people to fly, we would have given them wings. You gave me wings when you showed me birds.

That was the thing about thoughts. They thought themselves, and then dropped into your head in the hope that you would think so too.

Bein' a soldier is not hard! If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it! There is only three things you need to remember, which are, viz: one obey orders two give it to the enemy good and hard three don't die.

His rabbitty features looked unusually determined, as if a hamster had spotted a gap in its treadmill.

Firstly, that God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.

Wizards can put up with any amount of deprivation and discomfort, provided it is not happening to them.

Just because it's a mild night doesn't mean that dark forces aren't abroad. They're abroad all the time. They're everywhere. They always are. That's the whole point.

We are armed with the truth. What can harm us if we are armed with the truth?' 'Well, a crossbow bolt can, e.g., go right through your eye and out the back of your head,' said Sergeant Colon.

A bully, thought Susan. A very small, weak, very dull bully, who doesn't manage any real bullying because there's hardly anyone smaller and weaker than him, so he just makes everyone's lives just that little bit more difficult…

Vimes thought for a moment and said, 'Well, dear, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a man with a lot of wood must be in want of a wife who can handle a great big--

I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth. Really? Why not? I don't know, thur. I didn't athk.

The public thinks big, sensible, measured thoughts while people run around doing silly things

Credulous: having views about the world, the universe and humanity's place in it that are shared only by very unsophisticated people and the most intelligent and advanced mathematicians and physicists.

Come on. Let's run away. Where to? Rincewind sighed. He'd tried to make his basic philosophy clear time and again, and people never got the message. Don't you worry about to, he said. In my experience that always takes care of itself. The important word is away.

Why do you help these strangers? she asked Tiffany now. They are not of your clan. You owe them nothing. Well, said Tiffany, although they are strangers, I simply think of them as people. All of them. And you help other people--that's how we do it. Does every person do it? said Nightshade. No, said Tiffany. Sadly, that is true. But many people will help other people, just because, well, because they are other people. That's how it goes.