Quotes from Diana Wynne Jones

Howl said, I think we ought to live happily ever after, and she thought he meant it. Sophie knew that living happily ever after with Howl would make a good deal more eventful than any story made it sound, though she was determined to try. It should be hair-raising, added Howl. And you'll exploit me, Sophie said. And then you'll cut up all my suits to teach me, added Howl.

In addition, Master Twinkle seems convinced that someone is denying him a pair of stripey trousers.

I seem to have excalibured this knife.

If you must know, I-I had never in my life kissed a young lady, and you are far too beautiful to me to want to get it wrong!

The soldier was like that. He was an expert in getting other people to do what he wanted. The only creature that could make the soldier do something he did not want was Midnight, and Midnight did things she did not want only when Whippersnapper wanted something. That put the kitten right at the top of the pecking order. A kitten!

Alas, poor Yorick! he said. She heard mermaids, so it follows that there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. I have caught an everlasting cold, but luckily I am terribly dishonest. I cling to that.

Then watch out. I warn you! That is very considerate of you, said Chrestomanci. I like to be warned.

And you're too nice, he added, above the lap-lap of the water and the patter of sand on the water-lily leaves. I was relying on you being too jealous to let that demon near the place.

All these things that crib and cab in your brain, in your imagination, are in fact things that might well in later life drive you insane.

Then there you are, then. The day Howl forgets to do that will be the day I believe he's really in love, and not before. Michael to Sophie about wether or not Howl is really in love with Lettie. pg, 170

A garden should be natural-seeming, with wild sections, including a large area of bluebells.

It was odd. As a girl, Sophie would have shriveled with embarrassment at the way she was behaving. As an old woman, she did not mind what she did or said. She found that a great relief.

The truth between two people always cuts two ways.

I'll show you how, Peter said. Stop hiding behind your ignorance.

Howl has been very kind to me." And this was true, Sophie realized. Howl showed his kindness rather strangely, but, considering all Sophie did to annoy him, he had been very good to her indeed. "Do listen. He's not wicked at all!" There was a bit of a fizz from the grate at this, where Calcifer was watching with some interest. " He isn't!" Sophie said, to Calcifer as much as to Fanny..

I am a total zombie just after I wake up. It takes me half an hour even to get my eyes open. Ask anyone who knows me. I can't see; I can't talk properly; I can't do anything without help. The only think I can do properly is think. And I know how to exploit my condition. I've had years of practice.

Tell me of this wizard Howl of yours. Sophie's teeth chattered, but she said proudly, He's the best wizard in Ingary or anywhere else. If he'd only had time, he would have defeated that djinn. And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can't pin him down to do anything. Indded? asked Abdullah. Strange that you should speak so proudly such a list of vices, most loving of ladies. What do you mean, vices? Sophie asked angrily. I was just describing Howl!

Can't you treat yourself with a bit more consideration?' 'Why should I?' Mordion said, hugging the duvet round himself. 'Because you're a person, of course!' Ann snapped at him. 'One person ought to treat another person properly even if the person's himself!

SAGE. A wise and Holy man who died a long time ago. No one modern qualifies.

Happiness isn't a thing. You can't go out and get it like a cup of tea. It's the way you feel about things.

It was only when Shona, in sheer fury, turned the carnivorous sheep among them that they moved. They ran, some of them with charming little white sheep attached to their legs or backsides and the rest shouting about monsters.

What makes you a real girl or boy is that no one laughs at you. If you are imitation or unreal, the rules give you a right to exist provided you do what the real ones or brutes say. What makes you into me or Charles Morgan is that the rules allow all the girls to be better than me and all the boys better than Charles Morgan.

But I do think that when people say 'a learning curve,' they make a mistake. Learning to me always seems to go in a straight, ignorant line and then, every so often, takes a jump straight upward.

Calcifer, Sophie said, I shall have to break your contract. Will it kill you? It would if anyone else broke it, Calcifer said hoarsely. That's why I asked you to do it.